One thing that I have learned in life is that people treat you the way you let them. When you set healthy boundaries for yourself, people will treat you accordingly. Then you will attract the right people into your life. Everyone deserves dignity and respect.
If no one ever modeled what it looks like to set healthy boundaries for yourself, read the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Highlight the Scriptures that show how Jesus set healthy boundaries for himself and how He responded to others. Also, read the books of St. John and 1, 2 and 3 John to learn how much God loves you.
Holy Spirit rocked my world when I read what Jesus said in John 17:26 about God loving me just as much as Him. Initially, I thought believing this revelation was prideful because I had an inferiority complex. When you know the truth of God’s Word, it will set you free! (John 8:32)
Even though Jesus was humiliated, beaten and crucified to pay the penalty for our sins, He submitted to dying in this horrific way before the foundation of the world to forgive our sins. ( Rev. 13:8, 1 Peter 1:18-20) Thank you, Jesus! In the light of his purpose, therefore, Jesus’ boundaries were not violated. He laid down his life and took the abuse for you and me even though He had never sinned. Now that’s love. Now in Him, you have the abundant life. You just have to take it based on faith. (John 10:10)
Yes, you must humble yourself in the face of opposition. However, when you know your purpose, never allow anyone to abuse you. I learned how to set healthy boundaries from my life experiences, applying the Word of God and by praying for deliverance. Dr. Myles Munroe said, “When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable.” I pass on to you what I have lived and learned to encourage you and hopefully to shorten your learning curve.
It boils down to getting a revelation (an aha moment) of how much God loves you. Our heavenly Father gave His best, Jesus, His only Begotten Son, to die on the cross for our sins. He created you in His image and likeness. Then God came to live inside of you when you confessed Him as Lord of your life and received the gift of salvation in the person of Holy Spirit. He indwells you to lead and guide you into all truth about your purpose and everything else in life so that you can avert abuse. Knowing how much God loves you will help you set healthy boundaries. (John 3:16, Rom. 8:37-39, Song of Songs 6:3, Heb. 13:5-6, Ps. 86:15, Is. 41:10, 43:2, Hag. 1:3)
I learned how much God loves me in spite of being abused as a child. My deliverance came as a result of spending much time in prayer and allowing Holy Spirit to lead me through self-deliverance. I learned to hear God’s voice, and I wrote down and still do what He says to me in my journal. I also learned how to set healthy boundaries by sitting still and meditating, studying and reading my Bible to learn about our heavenly Father’s character. My Dad was not involved in my life to help me set healthy boundaries. Oh yes, I also learned healthy boundaries by sitting under sound, biblical teaching from pastors and other anointed 5-fold gifts. As a result, my spiritual discernment increased and continues to grow in His presence.
God loves you! You are special to Him. The word “special” means “unusual in a good way; better or more important than others; especially important or loved”. No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly before Him. (Ps. 84:11)
Lastly, I recommend “Boundaries” written by Christian therapists, Henry Cloud and John Townsend. They share knowledge and wisdom about ways to set healthy boundaries you may find useful. Until the next time – enjoy every day with Him.